My son Matt, age 5, was distraught. An older boy had told him that there was no Santa Claus. I was furious. Sure it’s a fantasy--but It’s such a fun fantasy, we had carried on the tradition. We told our three little boys about Santa, and on Christmas Eve we would hang the stockings and tell them to go to bed and sleep so “Santy” could come and bring the goodies. Then we filled the stockings with candy and fruit and laid out presents for them to discover the next morning. Oh, they would be so excited! We loved it.
Of course Matt had to learn the sad truth sometime. It would not be good if he grew up believing there really is a jolly old elf in a red outfit who flies over all the world in one night in a magical sleigh delivering toys to good little girls and boys. A disappointment every Christmas!
Is the excitement and fun of the Santa fantasy worth the pain of later discovering it’s not real? We thought so. But discarding it must come. You can still love the story, but you have to know it’s not true.
And so it is with most of the children’s fantasy that cultures tell their children. Both the fun parts (elves, fairies, magic) and the scary parts (monsters, ghosts, magic) are wonderful and entertaining and sometimes edifying, but the stories are for children, not adults. Growing up means you must discern what is real, and no longer be afraid of monsters under the bed or expect a good fairy to appear and solve your problems, or discover a magic ring that will give you immense powers.
What about fantasy for adults? Of course we never stop fantasizing! As an adult you can still suspend disbelief and enjoy even the scary parts of a novel, say or a movie. But it is not real.You must return to reality to function as an adult. That’s not easy or fun.
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